No New years resolutions

I recently came across this photo above and immediately thought that it perfectly summed up my 2015.  I would not go as far as to say I have been "Spiritually awakened" but I can certainly identify with the above.

Goodbye and Thank you 2015

You have been kind. Of course, life is always full of ups and downs and is never plain sailing but overall I have had a fabulous year.

Life after stroke

So, it is one and a half years since my stroke (yes that half a year is of extreme importance), I still have my daily struggles but I am still getting stronger and improving albeit not so obviously as times goes on. I am so so thankful when people stop me and tell me how well I am doing, its not that I need a confidence boost etc but is necessary as I sometimes just can not tell if I am doing well or not. So it really does mean so much for people to take the time out to recognise that I am still on the right path.
I have wrote and said many a time that my dream one day is that the stroke will seem quite insignificant in my life. I struggle with this dream now. I sometimes have days where I barely think about it but it is still always with me and I really don't know whether I will be able to or want to forget all about it.  I still suffer with Neuro fatigue or stroke tired as me and my daughter call it. It is nothing like normal tiredness. I have learnt and am still learning to manage this but its frustrating and can be really annoying to say the least. Its very hard to explain to people too. 
Physically- I am definitely improved. I am constantly trying to improve on this. When I walk, I try to beat my previous time etc. The worst I have felt recently was Christmas shopping. My core muscles ached so much and I just wanted to flop down -(that is the best way that I can describe it).   I can feel myself getting off track here but basically as much as in one day much further down the line I want the stroke to seem like a minor thing, there are days or moments when I feel like I could do with a big sign around me saying "this person has had a stroke,  please treat with care" so that people don't bump me, get cross if I can't get out of their way quick enough or get upset at me for taking the last seat if I need to rest.
My hand and foot are still improving but the progress feels so much slower than it once did.  I feel like I am still "just getting by". Yesterday I picked up a plate with my left hand. My brain was getting messages but I just could not figure out what the problem was. The plate was a bit too hot for my hand to handle but it wasn't until I felt it with my right hand that I understood what was happening. 

Ah, I will get there. I'm not too sure where "there" is but I'm trying to my best to enjoy this journey that I find myself on.

Stroke Related Goals

I am not making New Year Resolutions. I am however constantly giving myself life goals but unfortunately stroke recovery doesn't seem to work in measurements of time so neither can I. I can  jump on the spot and do star jumps so my next aim is to run. I have to laugh when you see or hear people saying "Anybody can run" I have learnt how to walk again but I can not physically run as my left side is still too heavy. I will run one day though I am sure.
I want to be able to feel my hand and foot. I'm using them all I can and am sure one day this will happen.
I want to be able to wear nice shoes and sandals - and not to have to wear my ankle brace to feel safe.

2015 Achievements

I have bought a actual pair of jeans and can do up the buttons and zip myself. They are two dress sizes smaller than pre stroke me and could probably be another size down again if I didn't need them baggier for ease of dressing.  This is amazing, thinking back to that day sat down with my physios telling me I would now have to wear T shirt, jogging bottoms and trainers, Look at how far I have come :)

I go for walks independently.

I find conversations a little easier. I still get a bit too tired to talk sometimes but its better.

Life Goals

Money- Again what I want to achieve won't be attained in a year but I am closer than I was this time last year and intend to be even closer next year.

Diet/Fitness/Health- All improved and still being improved. My actual goal was not to lose weight but I have. I can not tell you how much advice I have been given from people who have lost less weight then myself. I have not taken any of it on board. I don't want to completely give up carbs or survive on juices. I like food- eating and cooking. I am wanting to be healthy for life so for me it is all about moderation. I am stepping this up a bit this year as I would like my weight loss to be a bit more noticeable and I really do want to stay healthy. I also want a flatter tummy. The tummy has been very difficult to exercise this past two years and has left me feeling rather flabby.

2016- I know you won't be easy but lets try and have a good one!

Happy New year!!! xxx