Three days from today will be a massive day for me. It will be one year since I had a stroke. It has been a year of varying stages of recovery and one year since my life had a major shake up.
Straight after my stroke or to be more precise the first few weeks after it as I became aware of what had happened to me, I was told that it would take at least a year to recover. I have not recovered fully but I am still fighting hard and am extremely proud of all that I have achieved. I had so many questions, would I walk again? Would I ever be able to move my arm again? Were my major concerns. I was told that there was no way of knowing or answering those questions for me and that if I may just find ways to adapt to get by in life. I thought " no way, I want to get back to how I was" but
During this past year, I have had to do just that, adapt. I have had to let go of what I was and how my life was before in order to move forwards. I do and have always believed that life will guide you in the right direction. I am not fully recovered but I am not bitter. Of course, I would rather that it hadn't happened but it has, my way of coping and staying positive has been to embark on a new journey of making my life better and healthier than ever all the while with the purpose of making the fact that I had a stroke define my life less and less.
It is hard to believe the journey that I have found myself on these past twelve months. I didn't see this coming, that is for sure.
Food
I had left paralysis after the stroke to the point that I could not even understand that I had a left side on my body. I was of course confined to my hospital bed although for a couple of weeks after the stroke all I did was sleep. I had to have mashed up food, the choice of vegetarian mashable food was very limited and I became to dread mealtimes. I could tell they thought I just a fussy eater as I would get so upset at even the thought of the food being delivered. I think it was a combination of not doing anything or seeing any other view except for the hospital ward from my bed in between meals, the fact that every meal was a proper cooked dinner( albeit a mashed one) and finally the fact that it was tasteless. I did of course eat what I could (although I remember not touching the food on the left hand side of my plate for a while as I could see it but felt like it wasn't included in what I had to eat) but I did start losing weight which they kept an eye on. The best test I have ever tried in my life was the biscuit test which I took a few weeks after the stroke. It determines how you are swallowing. I ate it fine and I don't think a biscuit has or ever will taste as good as that again. The choice of vegetarian hospital food is still rather limited but was much better than mashed everything. Of all the foods I was most excited to eat was salad. I have always loved salads in fact I have always loved food.
Someone in the hospital asked me what my favourite meal was and I could not think. In fact I am still not sure what I would say is my favourite meal. I am sure I will remember or figure it out soon though. I am currently enjoying food again although I detest that feeling of eating too much ( it must stir up bad memories of being back in that hospital bed where I felt like all I did was eat all day) I have adopted more of a little and often approach to food and my mind seems to be mentally checking if it is a balanced diet all the time. I have never been a very balanced person but I am pleased with this current trait. I do hope it sticks around.
Sandwich club
Yes, I was once a member of the sandwich club. I really wish I could have had some sort of certificate stating this fact as It does make me chuckle. I used to attend a little group in the hospital, I would walk there with my stick but my arm was not moving at this point. I also have to laugh at the fact that I chose to make a cheese and tomato sandwich. How on earth did I think I was going to chop the tomato? Answer you adapt. I could use the weight of my left hand to hold the tomato in place, obviously being very careful not to slice any fingers off and cut with my right hand. I can not begin to explain how tired I felt after making a sandwich. I mean it was a sandwich not a three course meal but over this past year the tiredness has got less and less with every sandwich I have made.
I cook almost every day. My ways of adapting are planning in advance what are meals are going to be and we try to eat at 5pm each day so that it is not too late as I do start to get tired and clumsy as the evening approaches and I also want to make sure I have enough energy to wash all the pans afterwards.
There are things that make my life do much easier in respect of food and they are buying grated cheese I have grated cheese myself since the stroke but there were tears- it's too mentally tiring right now. That would have to be my big task of the day should I wish to grate cheese so I choose not to do it right now.
Frozen chopped vegetables- Again I can chop a vegetable if I need to but I am trying to keep things as simple as possible right now.
And this timer. I talk to people sometimes and say how I don't quite trust myself not to make a mistake and I think maybe they think this is due to lack of confidence. I think it is me being sensible. I never know when tiredness can strike and I am always aware that I could have a bad day. This is rare but I would rather be prepared. This timer is used a lot by me during the day. I of course use it when cooking food. I also use it at various intervals during the day. I can so easily lose track of time or lose concentration so this helps keep me on the right track. There are many other funny little ways that have developed this past year but I shall just keep this post related to food today and not confuse myself.
I am hoping to come back here and have an answer to what is my favourite meal over the next few months but food I am loving right now are eggs which reminds me of something else I need to mention
So-lo salt. I have made a really big effort in cutting down on salt in my diet. If I do have any, it is low sodium. I used to love salt on boiled eggs but have discovered if I eat boiled eggs once they are cold they seem to have more of a natural flavour that I enjoy without the need to add anything to them. Although peeling the eggs is not a task I love. I very stupidly peeled one over the bin a few days ago and as I had almost finished, dropped it. I won't be doing that again- peeling it over the bin that is, I can not promise I won't drop anymore. I love rocket salad. It has a strong enough flavour that it does not need anything added to it and I adore the taste. Jalapeños and pesto are another of my current favourites. Yum.
Another important fact I could mention here is the fact that yesterday I actually managed to open a tin of beans which did not have a ring pull. :) We and I include the cat in this have been dictated what tins we can have by the fact it has a ring pull or not lately. Maybe I should crack open a few tins on Friday to celebrate? :)
An afternoon in Scolton Manor! when I was in hospital my sister bought me a copy of "the simple life" magazine. I love that magazine so much. I actually get excited at the thought of looking at a new one. I have not felt like that since "girl", "jackie" or "my Guy". I used to look forward to the day they came out each week. Anyway, this particular issue had a section on wild flowers. I sat and just looked at it for ages, longing for the day that I could get out of hospital and see some actual real life wild flowers. I would say it doesn't get much better than that but stick my gorgeous nephew amongst the wild flowers equals heaven! ;) 
This, also happened. Which I thought was so lovely. My friend took me on a picnic to a nearby beach called Sandy Haven. She had packed a basket full of goodies including a small bottle of wine for me. It was a lovely afternoon and we had so much fun. 
The picnic basket :) 
