How a moisturiser changed my life

Today I am sat at my Mum's waiting in for a exciting delivery. A new phone, I am so excited. I have been a iPhone kind of a girl previously but I am moving to a Microsoft phone. My laptop is Windows 10 so the two combined should be good/easy for my brain to get to grips with.

This week I have completed a Sudoku puzzle. It does not sound like such a big deal but it is the first one I have sat down and completed (and not given up due to my brain hurting or losing concentration) since my stroke.

Of course, I like everything to be balanced so it can't be all good news- nothing too bad but I had a minor melt down in Tesco - all because I could not think or find where deodorant or salt would be. I was in a different/bigger Tesco so the unfamiliarity was a bit too much.

Which leads me nicely on to how a face cream changed my life. No, it has not vastly improved my skin although I must say for a £1.99 cream from Lidl it is very good.  I had completely run out of moisturiser. I am lucky with my skin as long as I cleanse/moisturise everyday it stays pretty good but I notice and feel the difference if I miss out the moisturising stage.  With only a couple of pounds in my purse and limited shops available to me. that cream from Lidl was my only real choice. As I took it to the till to pay I was thinking about how fed up I was of being dictated to on what I choose to buy because of A) being disorganised with what items I have/don't have, B) being equally disorganised with my money. I promised myself I wouldn't let it happen again if I could help it.

I spent last year living day to day, week to week money wise but I am now more of a month to month person. Money is still on my mind a little more than it should but this is still very much a ongoing process as like my stroke recovery there is no overnight solution.

Good news for people around me - The reason I was looking for deodorant was that I am running low so I still smell beautiful at the moment. ;) I was just trying to be organised me which ironically explains why I need to be as organised as I can and get things done while I can.

Everyday fail

I wish I was one of those "polished" types. There are many other things I want from life but that feels like something I can quietly at least have a chance of achieving right now. I am having a bit of time out of life to heal so why can't I heal and polish? 

I probably very unintentionally give the impression of not caring about such matters. For instance this weekend, I needed to wash my hair but unfortunately the shampoo was left opened and upside down on the bath rack so I went to use it it was empty. My hair not too bad of a state but I did not feel my best. I had woken up with a spot on my chin, luckily this is not a regular occurrence for myself but I along with my normal skincare routine dotted a bit of spot cream on it. I used to get my make up bag out every morning and apply whatever eyeshadow etc I felt like using that day but routine is extremely important to me at the moment and I am very pleased with my "current everyday make up look" I felt okay as I left the house that day in my self. I had taken my daughter to swimming lessons, something which I can not seem to cope with very well as yet. It tires me out so much and I'm not even the one swimming. Talking to my mum later on about this, she did say maybe I am not hydrating myself enough whist in there. Which is a very good point. Next time I go, I'm going to drink plenty of water before I go, I also have to remember to bring water with me. I am hoping to buy a backpack in the next few weeks with enough room for a water bottle for myself and my daughter and all the essentials that we may need on days out over the summer. After swimming, we went to do the weekly shop. While walking in to the shop, Cerys and her dad said to me " you look like you have got a spiders web on your face" I can only imagine that it was the spot cream. How embarrassing! That is the sort of thing that frequently happens to me even though I try so hard to look presentable. :) 

I am in the process of sorting through my wardrobe. I'm at one of those stages where I don't really know what size I am so I have got a few piles of clothes in my bedroom that need trying on to see what fits. I just want rid of clothes that don't fit well or flatter me and would love to go on a shopping spree to buy a few new items but I'm not working at the moment so anything I want to buy needs to be carefully considered. I have a pair of jeggings in a light denim which I wear a lot but they are slightly too big for me on the leg. I would really like a tighter pair with a few rips in. There are other things I need right now though, shoes!! At the moment I have one pair of skechers I wear all the time and a cupboard full of Shoes that at this moment I have no idea if I will ever be able to wear again. I would like a pair of white daps and a pair of sandals that are cushioned and easy to walk in. Also quite equally essential, I need to get measured for a new bra. I again am not sure what size I am right now. I think bra and back pack is the place to start. My daughter luckily has lots of nice summer clothes although I do want to sort her wardrobe out too as we will have sports day and a school concert coming up shortly so a inventory is due. Then of course I will need to start collecting new school uniform and school essentials for the "big" junior school. 

I am really trying to budget. I have so far got a sheet where I write all incomings and outgoings which I look at daily. I would like to by the end of the year have a bit of money in my bank account that is there just in case. I am currently living week to week and I'm doing okay but okay is just not good enough for me anymore. The problem I have right now is no matter what I am facing, I think to myself "if you can beat a stroke and learn to walk again you can do anything" I'm not afraid of failure, everyday I fail at something but occasionally I have those moments when I no longer fail at the thing I have been failing at for weeks or months before. What a great feeling that is! :)