Balance, bath time and freedom

Last year I never thought I would be able to actually enjoy a long hot soak in the bath again,Something I have previously always loved to do. When I came out of hospital I wanted to attempt to get in the bath, With the help of my mum I could get in and get out again but once in I could not have the water anything but lukewarm as my left side was now over sensitive, same as having a shower, I could not have it too powerful or too hot. That was one thing that not one person had mentioned or warned me about. I asked a occupational therapist during my visits to outpatients was it normal and she put my mind at rest by explaining that it was my brain getting used to different temperatures. I have not attempted to get in a pool as yet but I am hoping to very soon. I, of course want to try swimming but also I really want to see if I can handle the temperature of the water. 

I had a lovely bath last night and even though I am so grateful to every person who helped me to shower or my mum, getting me in the bath, I don't think I will ever stop feeling thankful for just being able to get in the bath all by myself and shutting the world out for a short while. There are many unpleasant things about a life after a stroke but I hated the fact that during most of my time in hospital which was over a month I did not have a single moment just to myself. That is obviously a much better alternative than being left, helpless on my own of course but to have all your independence and freedom stripped from you is a tough one. People always say to me "you are so strong and brave" I don't feel strong and brave, I took the route which was easier for me. I do not want to be looked after for the rest of my life. I accept any help I am given and will try and fail probably more times than anybody knows but I would rather try once, fail and then ask for or accept help as life after a stroke is difficult and tiring enough, why make it any harder? I know and accept (although of course, I get upset at my body and brain too) that sometimes my body is just not ready. It is all about - 

Giving yourself time to heal

And 

Balance 

I have never been very balanced or the most patient but as well as getting stronger each day I am more balanced and I love balanced me :)