Family and music- things I love the most

The week has arrived. It is time for our "holiday in Pembrokeshire" basically we are having a holiday where we live but the most exciting part is that myself and Cerys get to spend lots of time with my Mum, Sisters, nephew and nieces. 

Ceri arrived home on Sunday 2nd August, we wasted no time and all of us minus Mum who had other plans went to Tenby to enjoy a afternoon and evening of entertainment in Tenby Harbour. 

Ceri, me and Claire

Aunty Ceri and Cerys being photo bombed by Lexy 

Rebecca, Cerys and Danny 

I really enjoyed myself. Was lovely to spend time together.  Watching live bands while enjoying a cold cider is one of my favourite things ever.  There was a lot of sixties music which we know so well because Mum very often over the years has had her type of music blasting out throughout the house and car over the years. I do often think I would have been much more suited to growing up in the sixties and remember while I was in junior school talking to my friends about what music we liked. I really wanted to say I don't like tapes, I like listening to my Mums records but remember thinking that I would look silly if I did. Then I fell in love with Shakin Stevens not so much for his music but based on his looks, Although I did used to listen to his records almost every hour of every day too. I remember thinking that he was the most beautiful man that I had ever seen. 

My mums friends son gave me a poster of him which I hung up next to my bed. 

While My friends all had Michael Jackson posters and would tease me about my Shaky love. 

That same person a few years later and at my request went on to record me tapes of Bon Jovi and Little Angels. I had discovered some newer music that I liked and actually felt a bit cool as I had some tapes now. Eventually I did take notice of more "popular" music too  which did lead to me being told by various people that I couldn't for example like Guns n Roses and Kylie. I had to choose?  I am not sure why it was such a problem for people but it would take me a long time to discover that 

You just like what you like 

Anyway to get back to the point, I loved singing along to the sixties music in Tenby :) 

The kids had fun dancing and playing. Even a rain shower didn't spoil the fun. The evening ended with some lovely fireworks. 

Not even having to walk back to the car after the festivities dampened our spirits. 

We all waited in Lexi's car while Claire and Dave went to bring their car to the kids which was parked a little further away. As well as playing "Truth or Dare" we appear to have played "how many people can you fit in a Polo?" 

Lovely afternoon and evening. I felt very tired the following day but that is to be expected.  I think I coped really well though and feel that this is another achievement. The steep hill down to the harbour which at one point would have terrified me was not a problem. I did for a few hours almost feel like a normal person. :) 

RIP Cilla Black - I will always associate  this day with the sad news that singer and TV celebrity Cilla who has entertained us for many years has passed away.  

You are so lucky

Okay, I am lucky- 

Lucky to be alive, I'm sure most people around me are aware that I know this is true. I can't help but feel a bit hurt when strangers or people I do not so well tell me this and there is a part of me that wants to scream "do you know how hard I have worked and continually work everyday." It's hard going, before I have even accomplished my latest goal I am thinking of the next one that I need to achieve. Anyway, I needed to get that off my chest. 

I wrote the above paragraph yesterday, I was having a bad day for no particular reason but today the world seems a lot better place. 

I wanted to write this blog today on my computer but I have to admit failure on this particular goal. I have spent the last few days, working on the hard drive but it does not want to play and I think it is time to say goodbye. I have been devising myself some sort of budget plan since I last wrote on here and according to that I don't think a new computer will be happening anytime soon. It's not that much of a problem except it affects another one of my goals which is to use my camera more instead of my phone camera. As this is out of my control though, I really need to let that goal go for a while. 

Since my last post I have had a few days out and a evening out for a meal, so I have not done too badly on the socialising front. Luckily I did take photos on my phone as well as the camera so I can record here where I have been. So I am also lucky to be surrounded by such lovely people who look after me and Cerys so well. 

Clerkenhill Adventure Farm

This photo was taken in Clerkenhill adventure farm. My mum very kindly took me and Cerys there for the afternoon recently. She had so much fun here and loved the long tunnels. I loved the fact that I could get down on the floor and photograph her. Getting up again is not quite so easy as it used to be pre stroke but it's all good exercise. 

It is lovely, we only spent a few hours there but we could have spent so much more time there if time had not been against us that particular day. We finished off with a lovely ice cream, something I had been craving for quite a while. 

I know it may be a bit strange to take a photo of a ice cream wrapper but I was sure I would forget the name as I had not seen this particular one before. It was so lovely and may replace the feast as my new favourite.  I will be hunting this one down again. 

Anna's Welsh Zoo

Or what is more commonly refered to by our family as - Manor Park.  We have been going there for days out since me and my sisters were young and have always enjoyed it there. It holds many a good memory and always feels like it was always sunny back then. Think that is a sign of getting old ;) 

We are sure to return here many times over the summer so we have invested in a 2015 Double Bubble Season Pass. I am super excited to see the SiberianTigers when they arrive especially as the animals are so well cared for there.

 A meal out at Martha's Vineyard

What a lovely evening! The food was beautiful and the staff so friendly and attentive. We shared a bottle of wine along with water in between glasses for me. I enjoy having the odd night out, I could not do too many as it has been the norm for me lately to be in bed by seven but this week I have actually been staying up until about ten pm!! Not quite party animal status but worthy news all the same. 

My gym session was cancelled this week so I have been doing weights at home but I did go on a rather long trek with my sister Claire, nephew, nieces, Cerys and my mum. So I have certainly not neglected my exercise. 

Monk Haven 

Cerys went to see Disney on Ice with Daddy and stayed in

a hotel in Cardiff which was very exciting for her and loved telling me all about it. 

Guardians of the Galaxy 

yay, I finally got to see it. I was so excited especially as I had heard lots about the soundtrack. It did not disappoint me. 

Foundation

I am so very excited, now because my left hand has constant pins and needles, I need to keep things I do very simple. Which has meant not bothering with foundation (due to the fact I kept dropping and spilling it everywhere). I did buy a compact foundation but never found it quite the same. Anyway here is the exciting bit- I have used it three times so far with no spills:) 

Before I write my next post, I am hoping to have made a start on arranging Cerys' Birthday celebrations and to

Have cleared the boxes I have left to unpack from my living room and hopefully next time I will remember to mention "maths". There is a reason why but that is all for now! :) 

Beautiful sunset, colourful life

I was lucky enough to witness this beautiful sunset this week. Thanks to some lovely friends who took me out for the evening. It is amazing to think that this is about a 20 minute drive from where I live. I feel very lucky especially when we do actually get to see these lovely views with the sun shining. 

Although I would not have been able to get down on to the beach due to the steep steps, the view from the cliff is just amazing. I am hoping to see a few more sunsets over the next few months, with possibly a lovely spring and summer. I was in hospital last year for all of June and half of July when the weather was beautiful. I used to see people coming into the hospital looking bronzed and smelling of suntan lotion. I used to admire their summer clothes while I was in my uniform of jogging bottoms and baggy t shirts each day, 

Although we can not rely on the weather I intend to make the most of each nice day that I can, because I can. 

During this time, I used to close my eyes and see really bright, beautiful images in my head that at the time I did think I may want to paint  (I am not a painter/artist) but since coming out of hospital I think my brain got so full, relearning and recovering that these images all became quite grey and I had a sudden obsession with grey, wanting to be surrounded by it and to wear it all the time. I still do have a fondness for grey but my life is starting to get all of it's colour back now and they are being reintroduced into my quite colourful life. 

Present life goals April 2015

On June 5th 2015 it will have been a year since I had the stroke, that is fast approaching and although I am still recovering and not fully healed, I have to say that I am so pleased and have exceeded all expectations so far. A lot of the time I am still just getting by and as much as now and again it does frustrate me, that will do me for now. 

My goals are almost all at that point of really getting back to normal life instead of I want to be able to feel my arm, I now for example would like to be able to go out one night and have a dance. Physically I am able to do some kind of dance (we are by no means taking professional here ;)) but mentally I would just not be able to handle it yet. 

My daughter asked me "when can you drive again?" Another of my goals but again mentally I don't feel anywhere near ready. I am still trying to keep my life as simple as possible because my brain gets so tired, I am sure I will get to a point and it will feel better as things have improved so much for me already and after all it has not even been a year yet since it happened. 

Writing 

It helps me so much to write, something I must admit that I would never have said that I particularly enjoyed but it's so satisfying and feels like a brain workout (without any pain or frustration). I even enjoy writing a email or letter whereas in my life pre stroke I did not have the time so it would always be a rush job. 

I am currently writing this off my iphone but I am hoping to get my computer set up in my flat in the next few days. When I am hoping to use this little space of mine to write to my hearts content. 

Photos

I used to be the type that would see setting up a piece of technology a challenge now at the moment the thought of it makes me want to curl up and cry but I have a camera that needs some attention as I love to take photos at the moment. I think because it's something I can do as I often a feel a bit like I'm a bit of the outsider who can't join in fully with all that is going in around me but I can snap away. 

Ok, so after reading this it would appear I am a pro dancer, writer and photographer??  ;) nah, I'm just getting by. Doing what I can whilst I am healing and unable to work. 

One of my goals is over the next few months and summer holidays is to get one photo of all the places I can get to visit. I started yesterday with a photo of Nolton Haven in Pembrokeshire, which is the beautiful county which I live. 

Hair and skin 

I am also using this time to improve my physical self. Being in hospital for so long, having to have somebody else wash, shower you, do your hair, help clean your teeth is something at the age of then 36 is something I never thought would happen to me. When I think back, how embarrassing but I felt/feel so grateful for those lovely ladies in the hospital who even blow dried my hair for me. I had long hair at the time and could not manage to tie it in a simple pony tail. By the time I came out of hospital my hair and skin did not feel at it's best. It was only around December time though that mentally I felt able to think about this. I decided to get my hair cut to above shoulder length as it was not growing and felt really unhealthy, I had it cut with all the intention of growing it again straight away but I actually really like it and it is in lovely condition. I'm enjoying trying new products and at the same time trying to find a bargain. I can also now get my hair in a ponytail if need be but I love that mainly I can wear it down and with a quick going over of the straightners each time, I am good to go. 

My skin is looking and feeling good too, Although I am still trying to tackle this pore issue on the top of my cheeks. That is my next aim, I have got my eyebrows somewhat as I like them, they could be better but they are so much better than the unruly mess they have been , so I am working my way top to bottom, keeping it simple, affordable yet trying to  look good..../better. 

Clothes

I remember sitting with my physiotherapists and talking to them about clothes and the fact that my arm was not moving at this point made it very hard to dress myself but I have somehow always got by.  Although they did remind me that buttons and zips would be out. I sat there in despair picturing me in jogging bottoms and t shirts every day, I am still avoiding zips and buttons as much as possible. As I can do them with a struggle but it is after all, all about keeping it simple. I enjoy looking for clothes even more now then I did pre stroke. I appreciate and notice fabrics and attention to detail that I never did before and I am very lucky that somebody invented the jegging. No buttons or zips. Yay. I spend my life in my skechers but I feel safe in them and I can walk, first of all  . Not a day goes past where I am not thankful for this. I do look forward to the day when I can wear different shoes for different occasions but for now that is very much a case of window shopping. 

Health and exercise

I am currently completing a 16 week exercise programme once a week which I am really enjoying. I am trying to improve throughout this so I can develop further after this period is over, 

I have lost quite a bit of weight too for the first ever without being on a "diet" . I am very mindful now when it comes to food. I only eat when I am hungry and stop before I become too full. I don't deprive myself of any food but try to keep it in moderation. 

I could really do with losing more weight but I am determined at the moment to just keep focusing on being healthy and hoping that will take care of the weight loss for me. 

I have cut down on caffeine. I don't want to give up anything completely so I am allowing myself a cup of coffee in the morning then switching to herbal tea or water.

I have cut out salt as much as I possibly can and only allow myself crisps every now and again whilst really trying to tell myself to savour it as it is a huge treat. 

Crafting with Cerys

One thing we always loved to do together was crafty things. I am in the process of organising all of her crafty goodies after our move and have to say I am feeling the urge to get crafty again. I know she has missed this but I just could not face it before. We have also started playing cards lately too. 

So at April 2015, that is where I am at. I am looking forward to reading this back at a later date and seeing improvements in all aspects of life. :)