I really did not know where to begin my story but I think this is a good place to start as this was the day that the pair of trainers (which symbolised my getting ready to walk out of the hospital, my home for the previous seven weeks) sadly were no more. This was my first time walking in trainers since I had learnt to walk again. I had got almost to end of the corridor when I felt my shoe coming apart. If anybody reading this can understand the concentration you need whilst you are learning to walk you will know how much of a hazard this could have been, but there was no need to panic as thankfully a wheelchair was promptly bought to me. It was at this moment, I realised that I could walk again and still laugh but just not at the same time. Everything takes time and practise though and things get easier each time I attempt them and I do attempt everything (within reason that is) as although I am certainly not in a race or hurry I do want to get back to normal and hope that one day all this will seem like a small part of my life but as for right now this is my life.
I suppose I should explain how I got myself into a position where I needed to learn how to walk again. June 5th 2014- that is such a significant day for me. That was the day I had a stroke which shook my world up, along with those close to me. I was 36 years old when this happened and was the youngest person by far in the hospital ward. I don't know how many times I heard and still keep hearing now "But you are so young..."
Every stroke story is different, my story - I had a bleed to the brain or what is medically referred to as a Right Hemorrhagic Stroke which left me unable to feel or even remember that I had a left side of the body.
Everything at first is all a bit of a blur but there are a few moments that really stand out to me. Firstly my daughter, she had been with me when it happened. Was she okay and would I be able to look after her anymore? My main concern was that I could not feel or move my leg. I remember thinking I WILL walk again as I do not want Cerys, my daughter to have to care for me. She was/is six years old , a time for no worries and to just be a child. She is also the inspiration for the name of this blog because without a doubt one of the hardest things I went through was being separated from my girl for seven weeks. I missed her so much especially at bed time, a time for cwtches/cuddles, bed time stories and the time of day when she suddenly used to remember to tell me about a part of her day.
I remember seeing my sister Claire either that evening or the following day and wondering why she was not in London. M y sister was due to take my niece, a massive One Direction fan to see them in Wembley Stadium and I could not understand at the time why she had not gone. I just hope that Rebecca, my niece, gets another opportunity to see them one day as I know how much she was looking forward to going but she never once complained. Once I got out of the hospital, I did write a letter to One Direction or their fan address to explain what had happened and to try to get them to send me autographs for her which I was hoping to give to her for her birthday but I have not heard back yet as I have heard they are pretty busy boys!
My other sister Ceri had travelled from Newport to see me and after asking her what she was doing at the hospital she had explained how she did not know what sort of state I would be in... would I be the same person? Could I talk? I realised then how lucky I was and how things could have been so much worse. She knew I was still me when I saw her and gave my usual greeting of "Hiya Cer!"
As I have said every stroke story is different, every stroke recovery is different too.
I am forever grateful to my Mum, my two sisters, my daughter, my nephew and nieces and my brother in law. I would never have got through all of this without you then and what you continue to do for me.
Thank you to every amazing person who sent me a message, a card or who just have taken the time to ask me how I am. I am especially thankful if it was done with a hug but thank you the most to those who are still around now to help and still ask how I am to this day. You are amazing people!
Anyway, here I am five months later still fighting and most importantly still winning. I'm still making goals . I think the biggest one being to do a sponsored run sometime in the future to help raise money for the stroke unit/physiotherapy department in Withybush Hospital, Pembrokeshire as that would be just a small way of saying thanks to such amazing people who took care of me during a very difficult time. Anyway, this was my little introduction. I hope I did ok.
Everything at first is all a bit of a blur but there are a few moments that really stand out to me. Firstly my daughter, she had been with me when it happened. Was she okay and would I be able to look after her anymore? My main concern was that I could not feel or move my leg. I remember thinking I WILL walk again as I do not want Cerys, my daughter to have to care for me. She was/is six years old , a time for no worries and to just be a child. She is also the inspiration for the name of this blog because without a doubt one of the hardest things I went through was being separated from my girl for seven weeks. I missed her so much especially at bed time, a time for cwtches/cuddles, bed time stories and the time of day when she suddenly used to remember to tell me about a part of her day.
I remember seeing my sister Claire either that evening or the following day and wondering why she was not in London. M y sister was due to take my niece, a massive One Direction fan to see them in Wembley Stadium and I could not understand at the time why she had not gone. I just hope that Rebecca, my niece, gets another opportunity to see them one day as I know how much she was looking forward to going but she never once complained. Once I got out of the hospital, I did write a letter to One Direction or their fan address to explain what had happened and to try to get them to send me autographs for her which I was hoping to give to her for her birthday but I have not heard back yet as I have heard they are pretty busy boys!
My other sister Ceri had travelled from Newport to see me and after asking her what she was doing at the hospital she had explained how she did not know what sort of state I would be in... would I be the same person? Could I talk? I realised then how lucky I was and how things could have been so much worse. She knew I was still me when I saw her and gave my usual greeting of "Hiya Cer!"
As I have said every stroke story is different, every stroke recovery is different too.
I am forever grateful to my Mum, my two sisters, my daughter, my nephew and nieces and my brother in law. I would never have got through all of this without you then and what you continue to do for me.
Thank you to every amazing person who sent me a message, a card or who just have taken the time to ask me how I am. I am especially thankful if it was done with a hug but thank you the most to those who are still around now to help and still ask how I am to this day. You are amazing people!
Anyway, here I am five months later still fighting and most importantly still winning. I'm still making goals . I think the biggest one being to do a sponsored run sometime in the future to help raise money for the stroke unit/physiotherapy department in Withybush Hospital, Pembrokeshire as that would be just a small way of saying thanks to such amazing people who took care of me during a very difficult time. Anyway, this was my little introduction. I hope I did ok.
It was such a shock and an awful time. Can't beleive it was six months ago. I know there's still a long hard struggle ahead but so glad we are aiming in a better direction xxx
ReplyDelete