Life has always got to get harder before it gets easier. I have certainly found that out as late. Money is what is making my life hard right now, I can't work and I do not know when I will be able to again, I do say when not if. I am sure the time will come but recovering from a stroke isn't a easy job and there are no quick fixes. Instead as with the rest if my life, I need to make the most of what I have got.
My money situation is harder right now because I am trying to make it better so I am going through the harder part and expecting the easier part to follow, I have made some changes which is making it harder for me right now but it is the for the best, long term.
I am enjoying window shopping at the moment so I thought why not use a little space here to create a list of things I am wishing for. Which may help me sort out things within my grasp, find cheaper alternatives or realise that I do not actually need them. Anyway I think it will be fun.
1. A handheld or cordless vacuum cleaner
I struggle with my current one so much, I find it heavy and if I get the cord even slightly tangled I find it really hard to unravel. My left hand tends to hinder rather than help. One of the first times that I watched Mary Poppins, I fell in love with the song "a spoonful of sugar" and particularly the line "in every job that must be done, there is a element of fun, you find the fun and snap the jobs a game" I still believe in this and I do think that you can make anything fun but I am struggling to find anything fun about using a vacuum cleaner lately.
2. A iron
Mine is not working very well at all so it needs replacing.
3. A laptop or notebook
My current computer is old. I would like a new one for myself and my daughter. It doesn't have to be the most expensive or the most fancy but one that just works would be brilliant.
4. A USB stick or something smiliar
So that I can keep a copy of the photos that I have saved on my current computer before I can get rid of it as it is taken up unnecessary room in the living room.
5. A portable iphone charger
People panic if they don't hear from me for a while and I also panic myself about being caught out alone with no battery on my phone.
6. A back pack/ handbag
To bring when on days out as my over the shoulder bag is not big enough to hold a lot. I would like a black leather look one but the ones I really like are far too expensive.
7. Water bottles
One for me and one for my daughter to bring out and about with us. I don't want to spend a lot but I want them to be pretty and good quality.
8. Hats
I am not sure if this is necessary anymore as it appears that our summer may be over? If it comes back now which I really hope it does then me and Cerys could do with a sun hat each. I have my eye on a black either wide brimmed hat or a trilby and would like similar for Cerys but that is her choice.
9. Pyjamas
This is not an essential but I would like to get me and Cerys a new pair to take to London with us. I really like primark pyjamas but I'm not sure I will even get to one before we leave anyway so this may not happen.
9. A DVD player
Cerys has a TV in her bedroom but she can not use it for anything so it seems a waste. I would like to get a DVD player for it so that it can actually be used.
10. A headboard for my bedroom
With a shelf and storage.
11. A new pair of jeggings
As mine are falling down on me and are not tight enough on the leg.
12. Shoes
I am fed up of always wearing the same shoes but I need ones that are cushioned, my feet don't fall out of and they don't cost too much.
13. Some Vitamin B12 supplements
When in hospital, the doctors gave me a loading dose of Vitamin B12. After my stroke I obviously was paralysed down my left side but a lot of the time I would be thinking how well I felt. I had spent the months before it with little or no energy, I really struggled. I would do half a day in work then have to go to bed and would regularly say I feel like I need a tonic, I am convinced that it was the B12 that helped me as all of the symptoms of a defiency made so much sense to me.
The hospital had mentioned that another dose was due three months later but when I went to the doctors they tested
Me and my levels were not low enough. I should have been relieved but I feel that it is something that I need to keep a eye on. My stroke doctor seems to think that the loading dose can in some cases last over a year. If this had sorted me out and I never ever feel that tiredness again? That is fine with me but I am terrified it will happen again. I didn't only feel unhealthy in body I felt so unhealthy in my mind too. I am trying to eat as healthy as I can and am hoping to try some liquid B12 to see if I can absorb it, I know people say do not take supplements as it will effect your tests but while I am feeling okay I think it is okay to do so. Once I do purchase some, I will mention it to my doctor too to keep him informed,
14. A Planner
I am very specific in what I want.
This is one that I have made myself, I just could not cope without it. I love having the whole month to view then I will transfer the information to my pocket diary which I can carry around with me. I would really like something that I don't have to make myself every month but can be customised to my needs.
15. A Suitcase
I will be forever haunted by the memory of our suitcase falling apart in a French train station. That was two years ago and I promised myself there and then that I would invest in a decent one. I have not bought one as yet.
16. Bras
I have had to rely on a sports bra since the stroke as it had to be as easy to get on and off as possible. I have measured myself recently and realised that I have no bras in the right size anymore, I woukd really like one black and one white . Due to being larger in this area a lot of the shops where they sell them relatively cheaper do not got up to my size so I think I will need to look in the sales.
